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How To Break Up With Someone With Style And Grace
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Sometimes, no matter how charming, friendly, and intelligent someone is, after the initial flame goes out, you realize that things just aren’t clicking. And when that happens, the most sensible thing to do is break up.
Although we watch break ups all the time in romantic comedies and sitcoms, actually uttering the infamous words, “It’s not you, it’s me,” gets most people’s panties in a knot. But really, breaking up is a lot easier than staying in a relationship with someone you don’t care about.
So, if it’s obvious to you that you’re in a dead end relationship, don’t hesitate to call it quits. Just be sure to hone your break up skills and remain tactful at break up time so you don’t develop any bad dating karma or accumulate a long list of enemies throughout your years of singledom.
The Where, When, and How
Never, and I say NEVER, break up with someone via email, text message, postal mail, fax, or instant message. Not only is it cruel and insensitive, it shows that you’re a total wimp. Gather the courage to meet in person and break up with them face-to-face. And besides, how would you feel if one day your break up letter is posted all over the internet? Maintain your privacy and keep your dating life off the record by breaking up in person.
Also, when you break up with someone, be sure to do it in a private place. It will be very humiliating for your partner if you do it in a public area where there are other people around, especially if they react emotionally to your words.
In addition to choosing the right place to break up, make sure that the timing is right. Avoid dropping the bomb on major holidays, your partner’s birthday, or your anniversary (duh!). The dumpee will be sure to remember that fateful day for life if you break the news on a so-called special occasion.
And needless to say, don’t break up by disappearing off the face of the planet. Although it might be tempting for you to stop answering their calls or ignore all of their emails instead of facing up to your responsibility, there’s no excuse for being such a wuss. Get some cajones and tell them that you’re not longer interested! Break ups are an unavoidable part of life.
Be Honest but Sensitive
It’s important to be honest when you are breaking up with someone, but you don’t have to say EVERYTHING. Your partner doesn’t need to know that you think they’re boring, unattractive, or dumb. Just explain that you aren’t interested anymore, plainly and cautiously. There’s no need to go into all the gory details because nobody likes to be told how much they suck.
Stay Cool, Calm, and Collected
When you do the dirty work of breaking up, it’s possible that your partner will have a fit, shout, or call you names. Rejection is tough for anyone, but you’ll only make matters worse if you react in the same manner. Try to hear your partner out till the end, but don’t respond to their antics. If their behavior escalates, get out of there, fast! Maintaining one’s cool is the key to breaking up with style and grace.